SEDDY90 Funny Status Messages

   My Chemistry teacher asked me if I know the symbol compound of sodium hydrogen. I said NaH.

   If a girl flushes a public toilet with her foot, there is probably a lot of other things she won't do.

   The only time I've ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.

   Dear slut, Has your right leg ever met your left leg?

   Dear Dora, How do you get that t-shirt to fit over your head? Sincerely, Thats physically impossiple

   Women have to deal with periods and pregnancy. Men have to deal with Women. It's all about balance.

   "Why didn't you answer my phone call?" Oh, sorry I was dancing to the ringtone

   If I had a nickel for every time someone said I'm bad at math, I'd have 47 cents.

   Spongebob is Definetly Asian! he's Yellow! he knows Karate and he cant drive.

   Men are born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in between them, Because theres no place like home.

   "Weed is illegal" - "Yeah, so is half the music on your ipod."

   I would punch you straight in the face but my hand would get covered in the $hit you talk.

   Girls dictionary: No = Yes , Maybe = No , We need = I want , We need to talk = I wanna compalin.

   If love truly is blind, she probably can't tell the difference between a gold necklace and a chain of paperclips, right?

    Ugly people: Don't play hard to get, you're already hard to want.

   Read it slow: LIFEISNOWHERE. What did you read? LIFE IS NO WHERE or LIFE IS NOW HERE? Life is as you read it.

   That awkward moment when you want to buy something, check the price and sadly, leave it there.

   I'm the type of boy who can set the kitchen on fire by just getting a bowl of cereal.

   Spongebob, it's been over 11 years. You're not getting your drivers license.

     You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,