Rickster Funny Status Messages

   You think it’s hard to train dogs? We can’t even get people to sit and stay

   I think we have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart?

   Christmas is really kind of weird. “Let’s all sit around a dead tree in the living room and eat candy out of our socks”

   We have so much in common. You love to travel and I want you to go

   I was so mad at my parents when I found out Santa wasn’t real, I stormed out of the house, got in my car and just drove and drove.

   If you're over 18 but under 21 and are arrested for drinking alcohol, you can be charged as an adult for being under aged.

   Revenge is a dish best served eventually

   I built my entire itch-cream business from scratch.

   Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at a time

   Stuff your mask with M&Ms so you can eat them all day long like a horse

   They should release the movie Groundhog Day under the name Groundhog Day 2 and call it a sequel

   I asked my North Korean friend how it was there and he said "I can't complain"

   Locust swarms. Killer ninja murder hornets. Virus pandemics. You were complaining about Christmas music

   I want to lose weight but I don’t want to get caught up in one of those eat right and exercise scams

   20 years ago no one knew what gluten was. Now there are like three people left in the world who can eat a bagel

   My grief counselor just died. I really don’t care. I guess we made progress.

   Dove chocolates taste way better than their soap

   Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of me to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps

   I bet Pavlov felt like feeding the dogs every time a bell rang

   Pavlov is sitting in a bar and the phone rings. Suddenly he screams “Oh crap! I forgot to feed the dogs!“