Oregon Funny Status Messages

   Just anounced if you own a MAC you can now access the Obamacare website

   My typical morning where I can turn water into coffee!!

   In Florida where you literally get a grave built-in to your house...

   Unemployment is up but so are Michelle Obama's BANGS.....

   Desperate Housewives is on my TV.... I am DESPERATE trying to find the remote to turn this crap off!!

   The moon is so red tonight......oh wait my eyes are just blood shot....

   Weekly I confine my exercises to jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth and pushing my luck. I have already lost at least 3 friends....

   Something couples do together that causes breakups is called Home Improvement

   Just heard Obama is going on a 9-day vacation, I just assumed he's been on vacation.

   The Philadelphia man that bought a $4.00 painting but inside is a $2.5 million dollar worth Declaration of Independence document. Ok the song Philadelphia Freedom comes to mind

   Dear Department Store Bathroom Cleaner: Please use less WAX. When I go to the bathroom I am really not in the mood for doing the splits......

   It's beginning to look a lot like 80s on my ATARI 7800 system

   Woke up this morning from a dream I was flying. Late to work kind of wished that whole flying thing was true

   I always start my day off with SNAP, CRACKLE, POP

   How long will it take our government to have a zombie vaccination

   Obama is going to announce a new plan to get Americans back to work but it won't air until after Labor day.

   Grocery shopping right after a buffet dinner sucks!!

   Has anyone attempted "The Drive Thru" in reverse??

   I will put my phone down when you put yours down....Ready set.....Wait Someone is calling

   I just heard Steve Jobs Resigned from Apple Computers. His last thing to show people today was called a iquit.....