Gary Funny Status Messages

   Some people should use glue stick for lip balm.

   The animal responsible for the most human deaths worldwide is the mosquito.

   To err is human , to arr is Pirate ...

   In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him

   The girl said we were not spending enough time together, so we went to a movie,, she dragged me to Twilight,,, breakup T- minus one hour twenty three minutes!!

   When discussing geology and erosion, I often get sedimental and break down.

   The noblest of dogs of all dogs is the hot dog , It feeds the hand that bites it !!

   To the man that went the Block Buster store ?? Did you kick in the plywood around the windows or did Wayne Huizenga give you a key ??

   Have you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

   I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up!!!

   I'll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar.

   Like if you remember buying really silly stuff from Ronco ...Mr Microphone .. The pocket fisherman...aand who could forget the "Chop O Matic "

   Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?

   Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

   I'll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar.

   Like if you remember San francisco riding gear jeans