Elbow Funny Status Messages

   gonna go to church to confess my sins but I drank so much last night I can't remember them.

   been so busy lately that even Facebook feels neglected

   : OK, I didn't get what I want for Xmas.... I'm coming after you FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT!!! And don't think I'm not gonna egg your sleigh either!

   : My neighbours liked my music so much, the called the cops to come and listen.

   : Imagine the great things in a person's character you would miss out on if you limited yourself to a list of things you are looking for in a person.

   : Every day should be 'HUMP DAY'.... but not the Wednesday kind.

   feels like a playa... just eye-f**ked these hot twins for a solid 10 seconds and I don't even know their names.

   : You're the reason why God invented the middle finger.