DAVID Funny Status Messages

   Whitney Houston died just hours after being asked be a judge on the next season of the X Factor. Personally I think she made the right decision.

   Hugo Chavez...Say hello to..Adolph Hitler/Vlad III the Impaler/Joseph Stalin/Benito Mussolini/Ivan the Terrible and your friend the.Great Antichrist...The enemy of righteousness the.prince of darkness, pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name!

   The strangest of all bipolar disorders and birth defects is an inability to see things my way...

   throwing the new MySpace Profile out with the trash where it belongs :)

   can people who are paralysed from the waist down fart?

   If Pluto is a dwarf planet and not a real planet, are dwarf people not real people?

   Forget a 5 star chick... I rather have a 6 flag chick... More flags more fun!!!

   i guess if you got the last name weiner, you better advertise it!

   Falling In Love With You Is The Second Best Thing I Have Done .. Finding You Is The First ♥ ..

   I make people guess the secret ingredients in my brownies.. hallucinating yet?

   "You can't give the World to someone who's only ready for the city"

   wtf why does everyone on facebook think there models?

   on a (̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅ ̅_̅_̅()ڪے break !!

   Hugo Chavez...Hey hey my my, the evil dictator finally died..And once you're gone, you can't come back, your so welcome to satan's act!

   Tsunami? Wild Fires? Tornadoes? Hurricanes? Earthquakes?...I thought we had til 2012?

   I have often regretted my speech, but never my silence...And silence is not a punishment, at times it was a gift...

   My girlfriend just told me she was going to break up with me if I didn't quit making Linkin Park references. but in the end it doesn't even matter

   Some people around me are alive because I can't afford a hitman....!

   I really hope the meteorite that crash in Russia doesn't affect the price of Vodka!...Cause I'll Go Mexican..Tequila!

   Beauty is common... significance is rare