Brian Funny Status Messages

   Whenever someone deletes me as a friend I automatically think, crap they found out how many times I viewed their photos.

   Would it kill you to just get this right for once? There, Their, They're - There is a place, Their is something that belongs to them, They're is short for They Are

   I always feel like I make a connection with a waitress whenever they take my order

   Oh you hate your job? Theres a support group for that, its called EVERYBODY'S USED THIS POST ONE TOO MANY TIMES!

   I hate when they print out a receipt and there's an option for Tip before you put the Total Charge. I'm not going to tip you just because you printed out my receipt!

   I don't understand why they're making such a big deal over the Tesco burgers..... Seriously, how many times have you said I'm so hungry I could eat a horse????

   Once saw a man in the back who said 'Everyone Attack', but it didn't turn into a ballroom blitz.

   You know the economy is bad when you call the bill collectors to make a payment and their answering machine says there is an 8 hour hold time and to try your call again later.

   I would TGIF, but he scheduled me to work Saturday ...

   86. Sometimes I like to order pizza from Domino's and when the delivery boy rings the bell I open the door in a Pizza Hut outfit.

   The grass IS greener on the other side, but the gardener does not always show up.

   I hate going to a restaurant and my girlfriend orders food and ends up picking out of my plate.

   **News Flash** The real NFL refs will be back on the field tonight for the Browns/Ravens game. In other news, Footlocker hired a bunch of people and are now fully staffed again.

   You know you're in love when you're standing in line at Forever 21 making a return on a dress and panties that your girlfriend was too embarrassed to do herself!

   friends in low places.

   Why, when my dad left his phone in the car his phone rang and the ringtone was "Love in this club" by Usher???

   It was so hot today I had to stick my head in the oven just to cool off...

   City girls slip and slide, Country girls grip and ride!!

   In the 80's we had Reagan in office. We also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have Obama in office and we have no Hope and no Cash...

   4 hour naps suck! I don't even know whether it's daytime still or night time already...