snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I'm trying to update my e-harmony profile
←Rate | 06-18-2013 21:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,,, I said I'd be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
←Rate | 02-13-2013 11:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anxiety: The poor man's colon cleanse.
←Rate | 09-06-2014 09:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well.. I was going to vote for a candidate but I saw a meme on Facebook,,, so now I'm going to vote for another candidate
←Rate | 01-22-2016 08:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a soccer fan,, but if the St. Louis Steamers soccer team ever move to Cleveland,, I'm TOTALLY buying a jersey..
←Rate | 04-16-2012 19:54 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon HR: Let's talk about why you were late today... Me: I told you!.. HR: DRAGONS AREN'T "RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION!".. Me: Duh,,That's why I was late
←Rate | 07-25-2013 16:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
←Rate | 01-20-2013 18:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon LISTEN,,, Every pizza can be a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.
←Rate | 09-09-2013 21:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stupid people aren't flammable enough.
←Rate | 07-16-2012 07:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon How are poor people SO GOOD at finding money for tattoos???
←Rate | 05-30-2012 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon STOP holding secret meetings about my paranoia!
←Rate | 06-13-2012 15:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
←Rate | 04-24-2015 08:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hmmm,, How about slippers made out of Legos,, So that when you step on a Lego,, you just get taller.
←Rate | 02-23-2014 15:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's almost 24 years later and so far the magic still hasn't gone out of my divorce
←Rate | 09-15-2013 07:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon So the cop was like 'say the alphabet backwards',, So I said 'the alphabet backwards',, Then we laughed and laughed............ Send bail money
←Rate | 08-31-2013 07:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a huge and very intricate spider web, but no spider. This foreclosure crisis is really getting out of hand
←Rate | 02-18-2012 08:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon WAIT !!!.. So if I call the CDC, and tell them I have Ebola,,, they'll clean my house.??.... Seriously?.. Hmmmmm.
←Rate | 10-11-2014 07:50 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
←Rate | 12-30-2013 17:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to..
←Rate | 04-14-2014 20:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can fold a fitted sheet, you're obviously a witch
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:07 by snotty Comments (0)  




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