jitney Funny Status Messages

   Ummm its not the same when your writing about SCANDAL or any other show when everyone did that days ago on faceboook!

   Snooki plans to have a baby!.......... WHAT?? What did you say Kanye? "Beyonce's own was better!!!"

   For the young folks who don't know who Nelson Mandela is, he was like the Cliff Huxtable to South Africa's Theo.

   #MANRULE!!! No man should moan during sex no matter how good it feels...

   Madonna got a bunch of So-U-think-you-can dance rejected contortionist, and circus animals, and that monkey on a Rope......Someone Shoot the monkey. Wait What da???.........

   Im on my FACEBREAK!!!! - definition - a week break from FACEBOOK

   Great another "stand your ground" case ut of Florida....... We all know if you wanna kill someone go to Florida and do it!

   Did you ever think just maybe...just maybe... that the shark attacked you cuz you in his kitchen? Its not like he comes inside your house and swims in your kitchen,... and if that ever happened its called "Tuna Surprise Dinner!"

   I dont know why when I'm online I just gravitate towards Facebook. The computer, the internet/ service, or the Ipad are just useless and pointless with out checking my newsfeed.

   I'm going to shut off my phone round 9pm just to not get and avoid any desperate last minute chicks

   Heat Fans on Fire....... "Sorry, what you said honey? You screwing my neighbor....oh ok, I'll talk to you after the game!"

   They say you are whatt you eat, but I dont remember eating a sexy beast,.......hahaha

   Today will forever be known as Cinco de Mayweather!

   "Donald Trump for President" - Steve Harvey

   A badasss, is an idiot who survived.

   Girl Gamers are the most misjudge characters ever. Guys sees them as Goddesses, industry sees them as Barbie-Wii Mario-Bros chicks, parents sees them as boys, girls sees em as Fatty Emos, when they just are girls with controllers trying to be badasses!

   My kids call themselves changing their rooms around. All they did was move the t.v

   Me and BIG BIRD, going down to Sesame Street to see if we can buy the moderate a lie detector.

   Do "lol" goes before or after the sentence??? Everytime I read something funny, I quickly stop laughing out loud cuz I get frustrated

   That moment when spurs get a 20 point lead and I got diarrhea.....