love Funny Status Messages

   I like to put Aunt Jemima next to the Uncle Ben in my pantry. I'm hoping for a love connection.

   I love it when people get mad and speed past me, only to end up at the same red light.

   i can promise you I will never love anyone enough to ride a tandem bike with them

   Black Olives Matter... Just love them right out of the can and on salads.

   Love the deli paper on the doctor’s table. Mmm I’m a sick little sandwich

   What with unwanted pregnancies, social diseases and failed relationships, the Love Boat reboot will be titled the "Tug" Boat.

   I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening tools, Its called beeches and hoes..

   God does love gays, but only if they are tops.

   I used to have a crush on Ana Kournikova but love means nothing to her

   If you're alone on Valentine's Day it's okay as you can love yourself enough do something nice for yourself like go out and buy your own candy and flowers, and trust me you're totally worth it!! Especially tomorrow at 80% off.

   Kissing someone while they are asleep is one of the purest displays of love...unless you're in prison.

   I've got people who love me because I'm me. I've got people who hate me for the same reason!

   Marriage tip: Your wife values honesty. So if your wife asks you if her best friend is prettier than her, just say yes. Your wife will value and appreciate your opinion, and she will love you more for it.

   Marriage tip: Your wife values honesty. So if your wife asks you if her best friend is prettier than her, just say "yes". Your wife will value and appreciate your opinion, and she will love you more for it.

   Marriage tip: If you're getting ready to go out in public with your wife, ask her, "Would you please put on some makeup?" This will help her understand that you are concerned with her appearance, and she will love you more for it.

   told my aunt I love cooking with my Instapot, and judging by these edible recipes she just sent me she may have misunderstood.

   Do I love my co workers ? No But are they really good at their job and make my life easier ? Also no

   I think my song is "Let It Go" because whenever I mention love, they sing it.

   Those who ignore my posts... may your crush fall in love with your best friend

   I love my robotic vacuum cleaner that saves so much time and effort!...as long as I don't have to spend like an hour looking for it under furniture or in corners or wherever it got stuck and died.