life Funny Status Messages

   wonders if you ever wished your life had a System Restore... or maybe even just a Back Button?

   Tump haters are haters of all true Americans. Elitist, cosmopolitan, pompous jerks. Get a job and get a life.

   I knew someone would have to do it but I didn't know it would be someone so famous! Amy Winehouse had to take her own life just so people on fbook would talk about something other than the weather! You all are to blame for this!!

   found a sweet new keyboard shortcut. I wish I'd known about it before, it's so much faster! I love you ALT + F4. You make my life easy.

   Not the time to lose one's head. That's not the way to get ahead in life. It's a shame you arent't more headstrong. You'll never be the head of a major corporation.

   If you carry a gas can in your trunk, you should rethink your life plan...

   Pro Tip: 84% of my adult life is singing the chorus from Boyz 2 Men's "I'll Make Love To You" at the most inappropriate time.

   does Life feels heavy and the days are not really what you want? The solution is to look at life as a male dog. if it can not be eaten or fu#ked, so piss on it and move on ...

   I went to confession last week. Things in my life have apparently gotten way out of hand, and I mean WAY out. For my penance, the priest gave me 3 Hail Marys, 3 Our Fathers and a Crucifixion.

   Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon

   You are part of a puzzle in someones life. You may never know where you fit. But, someones life may never be complete without you in it.

   Lately I go to the restroom at the movies, but forget where I'm seated then return and just begin a new life in a new seat with a new family.

   OK .... You know your life is shallow if Chick - Fill - A is a major concern in your life

   I always thought my adult life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.

   Does anyone else ever feel like life is a relay race and your paycheck is the baton?

   I've social distancing most of my life - now everybody's doing it. Now I'm just waiting for everybody to experiment with autoerotique asphyxiation.

   Wow, watching the People in the Commercial Rock Climb, Scuba Dive & Live Life to the Fullest ............... makes me Wish I had Genital Herpes too.

   In life everything has a Yin & a Yang. Without demoralizing Monday mornings, there would be no debaucherous Friday nights.

   You had me at "life is total B.S."

   Having lived and loved, I can tell you that life is the constant and love is the variable.