life Funny Status Messages

   Please , with all that is good in life ..shoove those lemons up your backside ??

   It's just a rough patch. ~ my entire life apparently

   Wow, you couldn't win your online argument so you decided to correct their grammar. You really showed them, you're so god damned thug life!

   The only reason I've made it this far in life is because I have the Hyrule Field theme song from Zelda playing on repeat inside my head.

   So you need some excitement in her life? Go buy a pet hippo or badger. Problem solved!

   Sign Board At Petrol Pump: 'Please Don't Smoke here... V knw Ur Life has No Value but Petrol is Very EXPENSIVE'

   insert your current location, relationship problems, results of last doctors visit, what you had for lunch, how much you hate working on certain days of the week, and any other trivial details of your life here _______________________

   U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown!

   Would you rather win a hundred billion dollars today and get paralyzed tomorrow or just get life in jail with a man rapist? Up for the money.... Down for jail....

   Bobby Brown has a movie deal and a book about his life called "Higher than a muthafker".

   Thinks there are better things in life than alcohol. but alcohol makes up for not having them

   "Nonexistent" is my new favorite word. It describes so many things about my life!

   been spending most my life living in a Gansta's Paradise...

   The word OK looks like a sideways person. I've said OK my whole life and never noticed him.

   Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us.

   When life hands you lemons. Freeze them until they're rock solid and throw them at people you don't like. . .

   would like to take all of the warning labels off everything toxic and weed out the stupid people in my life

   I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!

   A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized...lol :P

   says Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back!