life Funny Status Messages

   Marriage is probably the most sincere way to tell somebody, "I want to smell every dump you take for the rest of your life."

   Some people wait their entire life for their ship to come in..not realizing that they are standing in an airport...

   religion? um, ha, no. i'm not really into the idea of letting a set of ancient rules dictate my life. 

   Life can be hard. Life can be fun. Life can be kind and life can be mean. Have the right attitude and life can be whatever you want it to be! Smile :)

   out making changes in his life... leave a message and I'll get back to you. if I dont get back to you - your one of the changes

   Scientist have discovered an area on Mars that might have once contained life. Alien scientist have made the same discovery about the Gulf of Mexico.

   Saying that an iPhone is the best phone because of the battery life is like saying my bicycle is the best car when it comes to fuel economy.

   I eat my peas with honey.. I dun it all my life.. It makes the peas taste funny.. But it keeps them on my knife.

   When my girlfriend was paralysed after the accident she worried about the changes it would make to her life. My concern was how would she cope now that she was single....

   a p°nis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an a55hole, his bestfriend is a pu55y and his owner beats him!

   Some people are weak and can't handle life so they turn to drugs. Some turn to religion.

   Blame someone else and get on with your life.

   thinks life is like a rubix cube. Some people have the patience to solve it and the others just cheat to see how others do it

   The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield.

   "Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life."

   I would rather be known in life as a honest sinner than as a lying hypocrite.

   Reflecting on my life... I'm really surprised I haven't been shot in the face.

   Just when my nightmares were over about you, you walk in my life in reality.

   "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

   In my car, I control the music. If this is a problem for you, just remember this... your life is in my hands. I am the one who is driving. I can kill us.