bego Funny Status Messages

   I had so much coffee I made it to work in under 4 minutes but I forgot to bring my car!

   Women: the only problem I don't mind "wrestling" with.

   Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong."

   My Dear Ex, Don't get your hopes up about the pics of us on Facebook. The reason why I haven't deleted some of the photos is purely because I look good in them.

   No matter where you live, there's always 1 light switch that doesn't do anything.

   Scenes from "The Exorcist" could have been filmed in my car while I'm stuck in traffic.

   70% of Americans are on prescription drugs. If you find that number depressing, talk tou your doctor about Cymbalta.

   LIKE if you remember what it was like to take a ton of pictures only to wait a week to find out they were useless.

   When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but when I'm busy, my phone blows up.

   I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them

   Why do girls run from the ones that make them happy, and fight for the ones that make them cry?

   The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself

   I was hoping Apple would replace Siri with Morgan Freeman on the iPhone 5

   Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.

   Love doesn’t walk away, people do.

   Username or Password Incorrect” You couldn't just tell me which one?

   What so sad is when you're trying to get over someone you never even dated.

   If I come to your house and you say "make yourself at home", don't get mad when I take my pants off and drink your beer.

   Facebook reminds me daily how moving out of my hometown was a great idea

   I remember as a teenager I used to kill myself getting to a ringing telephone... Now I don't even have the ringer on.