love Funny Status Messages

   I will never have abs. Because I love eating keb abs

   Literal Cheesy Pick-Up Line: Excuse me, are you Swiss? I'd love to check out your holes.

   Love when I take the time to type out a long text message to a friend and they reply with "K"

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk \ :D /

   Rest in Peace Jimmy Dean. . . Your sausage will never be the same... ( I am not sure I like the sounds of this post after typing it ) Admit it.. You ALL LOVE HIS SAUSAGE!

   meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over

   Socialism bad, unless I need it. Love Trump supporters.

   I love Australia! It's the only place in the word you can call someone a "mate" without sounding sexual ;)

   Most relationships fail not because of the absence of Love; but because girls Love2Much & Boys Love 2Many.

   No one will ever love you as much as your dog loves your stinky feet

   I love it when people knocks on my door. It gives me an excuse to use my guns.

   May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace; The heart of Christmas which is love.

   I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women h

   I love when people hurt your feelings on purpose.. Then yell j/k as they walk away...

   Funny all those people that love Prince and don't mind his drug abuse probably complained about Lance Armstrong

   When poverty comes in at the door, love flies out of the window.

   America, where mediocrity reigns supreme. How else do you explain "our" love affair with The Kardashians, Family Guy, and Dr. Oz?

   If you love a socialite set them free, if they come back to you be careful as they might have been Coronavirus.

   To address the rumors, yes I am in love, yes it's with Tacos, and no you can't judge me.

   Dear sleep, I know we had our problems when I was young... but I love you now.