MWC Funny Status Messages

   I was washing my gum and my wife almost put cloths in with my gum !!!!!!! she almost ruined a whole pack !!!!! .........Gonna let it slide cause I love her

   Hello! I am the Happiness Fairy. I've come to sprinkle happy dust to brighten your day. Now cheer up damn it, this sh it is expensive!

   I've took notice my Wife keeps scribbling in her diary that she thinks I'm to nosey

   I still remember 2014 like it was yesterday!

   I'm watching the same movie thats been on all week..."Complete Signal Loss"

   If you are down and depressed and don't know what to do, just remember, Nationwide is on your side.

   A daughter asked her mother how to spell pinus, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

   Good Morning Good afternoon and good evening ....in other words its all good

   I think I found out what commitment really is. Its not marriage, its finding a new cell phone plain to sign with...

   I just had dead pig and unborn chickens for breakfast!

   Non-religious people are idiots

   If corn oil is made from corn, and olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made of?

   Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of the 18th floor night club, was not a bouncer.

   Told my Cat I was going to teach him English today....He looked up and said... Me? How?

   I got into a debate with a Flat Earther today . He said he would walk to the edge to prove he's right.... I told him he'd come around eventually.

   All my post were removed, because someone took A Fence

   I'm thinking about taking up Meditation. It's better than sitting around doing nothing.

   My Grief Counselor died today. He was so good.. I don't even care!

   Somebody ripped a page out of my new 2024 calendar! I'm disMayed!

   I always thought it was "Blew by you"