life Funny Status Messages

   SO homosexuailty is UNNATURAL , like cutting your grass ? like 90% of the food we eat ??Air conditioning ?? Live your own life ..leave everyone else alone !!!

   One spelling mistake can destroy your life, A Husband sent this to his wife:I'm having a wonderful time wish you were her

   Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, ‘What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'

   Since Two And A Half Men has been cancelled Charlie Sheen should star in his own reality show titled Two And A Half Brain Cells ~ My Life Filled With Drunken Binges, Being Wasted On Cocaine and Paying For Expensive Hookers.

   At one point in their life 95% of women will have intelligent DNA. Unfortunately most will spit it out.

   When God asks what you've done with your life, try not to say “Didn't you read my statuses?”

   Sometimes you meet someone, and you know from the first moment that you want to spend your whole life without them.

   thinks that when it comes to Valentine's Day or any day for that matter, the greatest expression of love ever demonstrated was when Jesus gave his life on the cross for me.

   ‎"Only one store has been a part of your life for 150 years. That's the power of MACY'S" Wow! They're really targeting the seniors with this commercial!

   The girl is mine, Life's a b*tch so the whole world is mine.

   I once gave up fishing. It was the most terrifying weekend of my life.

   if any more of these Mel Gibson tapes get released you'll be able to buy the box set from Time Life by XMas

   I wish my book of life was written in pencil There are a few pages I would like to erase.

   Life lesson # 243- Never try to cut the hair of a 16 month old child without anesthesia.

   I just heard that Randy Moss is writing his life story. He's only written two chapters and already he's finished an entire box of crayons. :)

   Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it craps on your head.

   Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

   Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson (Good Luck to those playing the powerball!!)

   Jordan says, "I'm devastated, Alex has left a gaping hole in my life." Come off it Katie that's been there since your early teens!

   Facebook: making stalkers life easier since 2004