BEGO Funny Status Messages

   facebook is not a shower, keep your clothes on!

   Why talk when you can type?

   Put a condom on your heart & f$ck your feelings.

   Life is full of rejection. Even my credit card has been denied

   Enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you’ll look back and realize that they were actually big things.

   Any man who says his wedding day is the happiest day of his life has obviously never scored an over-head kick on FIFA.

   The only Happy END that I know it's the weekEND

   "I would of still be in High School if Google didn't exitst"

   Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.

   Maybe you should eat that makeup, so you can be damn pretty on the inside.

   Age 11: “I whip my hair back & forth!” Age 27: “I drive my kids back & forth!” Age 72: “I rock my chair back & forth!”

   If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he’s trying to bust a move.

   I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

   Dear Inventor of the Keyboard, Why did you make the "t" and the "g" so close together? I keep signing my letters "With Retards"

   Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.

   Maybe women would be happier on their periods if someone invented tampons that vibrate..

   Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your minde. Feelings and emotions.

   There are only two kinds of people in this world: Doctors and Patients

   No mom, you're mad because you're wrong, not because I'm talking back...

   The slower the kiss, the easier for love to slip through.