Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon *Poops without drinking coffee first*.... it's a FESTIVUS miracle
←Rate | 12-02-2015 14:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taco Bell is selling breakfast now?.. Cool, I guess I can move into the men's restroom... If you need me, I'll be in my new office.
←Rate | 06-16-2014 08:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who eat fish tacos: You realize you can get tacos that don't have fish in them,,, right?
←Rate | 07-23-2014 07:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife swapping?..... Count me in... Here she is, you're in the middle of a divorce.
←Rate | 08-06-2014 19:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know the part of your bumhole that supposedly tells you if it's just a fart, or it's actually crap?... Yah, My dad needs a new one of those
←Rate | 10-07-2014 15:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's kinda embarrassing that Nostradamus predicted we’d only have 5 Doritos flavors by 2014.. When we actually have like 15
←Rate | 03-14-2014 16:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip - I'm not convinced any of you are qualified to give pro tips.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 07:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being married means you never hav--- WOULD YOU QUIT CHEWING SO GODDAMN LOUD?
←Rate | 03-25-2014 20:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "As a matter of fact, pepsi IS okay"... *whole restaurant gasps... *rookie busboy vomits
←Rate | 04-04-2014 20:16 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men In Black, Panties..... #AddaWordRuinaMovie
←Rate | 05-14-2014 17:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why doesn't anybody like me? Asking for a friend.
←Rate | 05-16-2014 19:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It puts the lotion on its skin,, or it gets the eczema again.
←Rate | 01-19-2016 19:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon [dog on trial for murder]... Lawyer: Who's a good boy?... Dog: I am... Lawyer: Your honor, I rest my case....
←Rate | 01-26-2016 18:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon MARY: I'm worried Joe,, I found 4 bottles of wine in his room... JOSEPH: They were just water when he went in there, I'll have a talk with him.... *from upstairs* YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD
←Rate | 01-26-2016 18:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.
←Rate | 01-27-2016 12:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are a famous musician and you are over 60,,, please be careful in 2016.
←Rate | 01-27-2016 19:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good cop: Where's the money? Blind cop: *Tries to pound fist on table but misses.... WHERE IS EVERYTHING???
←Rate | 01-28-2016 09:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon (Infomercial for toilets) *a man is walking around his house picking up turds... "There's got to be a better way??"
←Rate | 01-30-2016 22:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do country music artists know about better music?
←Rate | 02-13-2016 17:08 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon INSTRUCTIONS FOR FITTED SHEETS: 1) Know when to hold em... 2) Know when to fold em... 3) Know when to walk away... 4) Know when to run.
←Rate | 02-19-2016 22:19 by Snotty Comments (0)  




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