goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Like if you ever had High School friends hook you up that worked at fast food places.

   It's fend for yourself night and you know what that means...cold cereal for dinner.

   Health Tip: rubbing fruit in the palms of your hands is not a safe alternative to washing with water.

   California is a nice place to live - if you happen to be an Orange.

   "Hey Bro, wanna go to lunch?" Sorry I can't, I'm on the Govt. Lunch Program....can't afford to eat :/

   Just ate the last bit of food in my lunch box, this overtime now officially sucks!!!!

   there anything worse than being in a quiet break-room with someone eating something crunchy?

   I currently have six quarters jingling in my front left pocket designated as "spares".

   Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?

   Sorry I started a fight in the middle of your parking lot pARtyy- F.Gump

   What superpower would I want? The ability to know if the bite of food is rotten or moldy BEFORE I stick in my mouth and chew!

   I have Park Place and Boardwalk from McDonald's Monopoly game. I don't play these stupid games, so if you want them inbox me.

   Tweakers tend to use Five Hour Energy's dirty cousin, Five Inch Line Energy.

   The correct measurement of toilette paper is from the dispenser to the floor for two-ply, and dispenser to the floor with a half turn for single.

   If it's foggy out and you are driving without your headlights on, I pray you don't find a "good" parking space this holiday season.

   Someone needs to tell all the other horses that its CC's birthday today.

   Hey Jack In The Crack...I ordered an Ulitimate Burger not an Ultimate Mustard!

   there someone making $ off of all this "Liking" on FB?

   Like if you remember the "yellow isle" at the local grocery store.

   ****PILOT****