Monday Funny Status Messages

   Monday morning is the time we go through photos from the weekend and figure out what the hell happened. I swear that goat said he had ID.

   It's Cyber Sex Monday :)

   Why wait for Black Friday, when you can shop brown Monday right

   Because it's Monday, I'll go ahead and tell you what the funniest thing is the world is: A fat guy falling down his last 3 stairs, while farting. Glad no one was here.

   My girlfriend has been trying out her new schoolgirl outfit I brought her earlier today. Which is a shame........Can't believe she's back to school on Monday already.

   The weekend is the reason I work Monday-Friday.

   I say "Monday" like "Jerry Seinfeld says "Newman!"

   Friday: YES, ITS THE WEEKEND! *Blink* Monday: WTF just happened?!

   In the words of Mike Tyson, "I am gonna **** this Monday until it loves me"

   I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.

   WHOOOAAA!!! I smell the strong stench of "MONDAY" brewing!!

   So Valentines day is approaching...I got a new smokin hot outfit and I managed to secure the best table Monday night at Waffle House on Oneal....that's right...I'm gonna get some FO SHO!!

   Monday isn't so bad if you lube up.

   Interviewer: Why should you work here? Waiter: I believe I am capable of bringing a lot to the table. Interviewer: Can you start Monday?

   ESPN's Ron Jaworski just apologized for saying "sh*t" live on the air during Monday Night Football. Which just goes to prove that 90% of sportscasters don't notice to all the dumb krap that comes outta there own mouths anyway.

   My favorite holiday is, National Egg Salad Lunch Monday. . .

   this is what has happened when the have Giants won the Superbowl....1987 Black Monday Stock Market Crash,1991 Gulf War part 1,2008 Economy Crashes....2012

   Wait, you're telling me that if I kill off and entire culture and take credit for discovering a land I in no way discovered,I'll get a random Monday in October off from work? Only in America!..... Happy Columbus day!!

   "Monday" like Jerry Seinfeld says "Newman!"

   My Man Crush Monday is: Obama. I hope a rock falls, and crushes his head.