BEGO Funny Status Messages

   The guy who predicted the end of the world moved the date to Oct/Nov. That's not the end of the world, it's just another Twilight film.

   Dear women: we don't give a CRAP about eyebrows. Love, men.

   Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.

   Hoes looking for attention… Haters looking for a mention… Welcome to Facebook.

   If your name is John, your parents were just lazy when they named you.

   Have you noticed in movies they ask someone wearing a mask "who are you?"

   I turn down my radio to park my car.

   Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)

   Dont be suprised if a big fat man comes down your chimney and puts you in a black sack.. I told him I want you for Christmas.

   Life will always be like a roller coaster ride! Make sure your seatbelt is fastened and hold on tight because its full of thrills, screams, chills, fear, excitement, tears, laughter, joy, anxiety, and the will to do it all over again! "Life I tell ya!"

   Don't you think it's time we stopped blaming our problems on people in our past and started blaming them on people in the future?

   Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me a damn secrets???

   Don't ignore my texts, I know you check your phone 24/7.

   When McDonalds only give you ONE pack of sauce ... <<< Bi&ch I ordered a 20 piece nugget meal , THE F&CK ima do with ONE pack !?

   Even though I said I dont care about you I still check your facebook every once in a while, just to see how youre doing.

   If you take the vowels out of FEMALE you get FML. Coincidence? I think not

   Some french fries are excellent, and other french fries are just an acceptable way to eat ketchup…

   The best way to get over your ex? Get under someone else!

   Who invented hugs? I mean..the first hug would have been soo awkward. its like"what are you doin, why are you holding me???" "shhh just trust me"

   It must suck to be Spanish speaking person who doesn’t understand the English phrase “If you’d like to continue in Spanish…”