BEGO Funny Status Messages

   *Showering together* Girl: "Baby I want you to do bad things to me ;)" Guy: *Puts shampoo in her eyes*

   .irls Stop editing ya'll pics. what if you go missing? How you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook but you look like a shrek in person.

   I hate arguing through text. I need you to hear the anger and sincerity in my voice when I call you a bi&ch.

   You tell a chick "Hey" and she thinks you're hitting on her. Get over yourself, You look like a lightskin Chris Bosh with a weave on anyway

   One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."

   I have yet to see a security guard I couldn't beat the s$it out of.

   Does your a** never get jealous of the s**t that comes out of your mouth?

   If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.

   Hmm 666 6+6+6=18 18.... Obama was once 18... Very scary not sure what this information means brought to you by Fox News.

   Obama: I like Coke. Fox News: Obama has declared war on Pepsi.

   I love when bicthes make status about how much the hate b**ches

   So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

   Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

   We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police

   Kim Kardashian is 32 & she's pregnant, but y'all hoes be 16 with 4 kids and no baby daddy.. & y'all calling her a s?ut? PLEASE, have a seat.

   Dont tell me the sky is the limit when there are damn footprints on the moon.

   No one ever seems to realize that when your EX says after you brake up, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you again," basically implies that there is a list and hurting you is on it.

   Did you know you that you don’t have to put every meal you eat on Instagram? You can just eat it.

   I really hope 2015 is a better year.

   Hey North Korea. Do you even lift bro?