love Funny Status Messages

   Has anyone figured out yet why women love chocolate so much ?

   Love the samples at Costco, however I think of them more as tapas you have to fight strangers to the death over.

   Nothing tests the love for your children like being awoken at 2 AM with a Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat kick to the sternum.

   Would love to be British. Drinking my leaf water and staring at a huge clock from my red phone booth, adding extra letters to wourds.

   In almost every situation, Nutella makes a great substitute for love.

   I love earth, except the people on it.

   I love pillow talk as much as the next guy but saying "Put your needle in my haystack" isn't exactly a confidence builder.

   To do list for the day: Hate self, love self, hate self, love self. Lunch. Hate self.

   Why I love Asia: I wanted a hooker. Called service. Said I didn't know what I wanted. They sent a van with 10 girls and let me choose.

   Admit it, you love them so you Facebook stalk them. You over think your status updates in case they read them & you look @ all their photos several times a day.

   The love of money is a root of all KINDS of evil (1 Timothy 6:10)

   "AND HE WAS JUST A HAIR AWAY FROM GETTING THE SACK!" I love football.

   I love making people laugh. I just hate it when it happens when I get out of the shower and It's my wife. LOL!

   Behind every beautiful girl is the ugly relationship that made her scared to love again

   When I squirt on you, consider yourself baptized in my love

   if love were a blow pop then I would blow you forever.

   ppl dying, couples fighting just alot of unhappy ppl out there! Its times like this we need to tell the ppl we care bout the most we love them! Just stop what ur doing call ur girl, man, moms, dad or whoever & tell them you love them!

   With my luck, the love of my life was on that plane.

   Love is when she throats you so deep she throws up on you, composes herself, then keeps going. She only regrets she had to stop for a moment.

   If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, stalk them.