bego Funny Status Messages

   Spent 45 mins having a stare off with this arrogant prick two tables down at Lunch. Then he got up and grabbed his blind person cane. S$it.

   If my love, honesty, and loyalty aren't good enough for you...the guy in line behind you would love for you to move on.

   Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared.

   I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing the lawn. I figured he just have to mow aound me, I'm not moving.

   Most relationships fail not because the absence of love, but because girls love to much and guys love to many.

   YOLO backwards is OLOY, "Only Losers Obey Yolo"

   If you are someone who insists on talking on the phone rather than texting, I’m sorry but, we can’t be friends

   U know that Happiness is a cop car turning his lights on behind you and immediately going past you.

   I've never smoked Hookah, but I've been told it tastes exactly like not getting laid.

   Sarcasm : Because beating the s$it out of people is illegal.

   I wish there was a rewind button in life.

   Bi&ches Be Like Wake up *pic* Get dressed *pic* School Flow *pic* Bored *pic* With Bae *pic* No Filter *pic* Goodnight *pic* Goodnight *pic*

   Facebook = Heavily populated city. Twitter = Just a vacation spot. Myspace = A ghost town.

   Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: with what?

   Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed.

   Im still waiting for customer service but Ive exhausted all my dance moves to their hold music, now damn what?

   Remember when you blow back up the Capri Sun pouches and try to give them to your friend hoping that they will think it's full?

   When your foot falls asleep, that's God's way of saying... "Move, your lazy a$s!"

   Who needs soap operas, talk shows, reality tv, newspapers, and books when there is Facebook!

   Facebook:........-Log on -Check notifications -Poke everyone back -Go on homepage -Do the happy birthday ritual -Go back to homepage -Change from Top news to Most recent -Have a little scroll down -Like a couple of pages -Youre damn bored already...