BEGO Funny Status Messages

   if you can just walk away like nothing happened then it never mattered to you in the first place  

   A friend knows there's something wrong by the way you act but a best friend can tell through just a text message

   My doctor is a weight loss expert. He removes the fat from my wallet.

   Santa saw your Facebook pictures. …You're getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas

   Giving your friend “the look” when you see someone attractive.

   Teacher: You failed the test! Me: You failed to educate me.

   Mirror: You look amazing. Camera: I don't think so... Friends: Hey you, someone looks beautiful! Self-esteem: You're ugly.

   Kids today will never understand the feeling of slamming a phone shut after an argument. All they can do is just poke at a screen.

   No, I'm not single. I am in a long distance relationship because my girlfriend lives in the future.

   i swear; when people are in love they are never themselves, they are something else....

   Here, let me tell you about a ton of opinionated bull$hit that's not actually news" - Every major news Channe

   Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life. Drink to your health!

   This lady on the highway is driving like a maniac & she has kids in the car. Lady I'm not following you. I want to watch Ice Age too.

   You know you had a good night when you wake up with one less friend and one new useless Ebay purchase.

   Hey homeless guy, quick tip: don’t panhandle outside the 99 Cent Store, we’re not that far from you.

   If Its Not on the first Search Page of Google, It doesn't Exist .

   11 year olds today: "Omg I love smokin pot. I get like so drunk. Yolo!" Me when I was 11: "I can't wait to go home and play Club Penguin!

   It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's 2 months from December and no one gives a crap

   7 billion people, 14 billion faces.

   Bibles arent allowed in schools anymore but are encouraged in prisons. If kids were allowed to read it at school, they may not end up in pison.