sms Funny Status Messages

   Do beavers even know what they're doing? Or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, "Absolutely not!"

   Betty White deserves better than to inherit this mess of a planet when we die

   Well it was a solid 5 days. Here's to 2022! 🥂

   Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis

   You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

   Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

   Please, write your comments down on the back of a $20 dollar bill and send them to me.

   Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

   We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart.

   You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.