smeebert Funny Status Messages

   She will always remember this as the day she almost caught captain Jack Sparrow

   Please don't tell China I know all kinds of Super Secret Stuff! They might send one of those Hot Chinese Spies to Work me Over!

   Thank you everyone ! In celebration of my birthday today - l will match any cash donations given to me.

   Why am I sleeping on the couch? well lets put it this way she caught me talking on the phone last night and it was not Jake from State farm

   Well the pandemic unemployment is coming to an end here shortly so guess it’s time to get back to work, all these companies are all after me so shouldn’t be hard - electric company, fuel company, telephone company

   Whoever stole my glasses you WILL be sorry, I have contacts!

   New Deluxe never used 2020 planner - super cheap!

   Weird, thousands of people working from home getting paychecks and not a single one has called in sick all week.

   What if it was April fools of next year when someone finally reveals to you the self quarantine ended 11 months ago.

   I’m famous someone took a picture of me it went virus