sellers Funny Status Messages

   We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

   Insomnia: Inability to sleep until it is time to get up!

   Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela

   i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand

   it tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

   chasing vodka with french fries

   Have you noticed you very rarely hear one liners about cocaine.

   Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

   I woke up at 3am naked and holding a watermelon.

   I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'