michael Funny Status Messages

   Customer: "Sir, could you take a look at my car; it's making terrible noises." Mechanic: "Have you tried shutting off the Christian music?"

   James Watson, the scientist that discovered the DNA double helix, believes that "stupidity" is a genetic condition that can be cured. So chin up, buttercup. There is hope for you yet!

   "His heart wasn't the only thing that was two sizes too small" ~ Mrs Grinch.

   "I'm sorry your pet died. Can I come over for breakfast tomorrow?" - The world if pigs replaced dogs.

   K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.

   Are you sick and tired of having sex? Ask your doctor if 'marriage' is right for you!

   Snow peas are just like regular peas except the licky boom boom down.

   Last night my son wanted me to take him to see scary monsters at a haunted house, but I needed beer. We compromised and I took him to Walmart

   "You know. If I had a son, he'd look like Hunter Biden and would do blow off a secretary's tramp stamp on a Naval base" ~ Barack Obama

   Everything I have learned about women has come from a pamphlet in a tampon box.