jon Funny Status Messages

   it considered sexual assault if a midget walks up to you and says you hair smells nice?

   Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls... I was in the women's bathroom.

   I Love it when my pets sigh, like whats ails you my little freeloader 😄

   16.The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you.

   Ok Northerners, stop criticizing how we handle snow & ice. It is very rare down here. You know kinda like winning a BCS National Championship up there

   Ok it has been 9 hours now...I wonder how many people already messed their New Years resolution up???

   Jons Memorial Day Advice. Don't forget! • Burgers • Beer • Sun screen • Toothpaste • Cheese • Hot dog buns • 9/11 • The Alamo • Dre

   I saw a sign that said 'NO PARKING' so I took out a sharpie & now it says 'NO PARKING UNLESS YOU ARE AWESOME' & now I found a parking spot.

   Women are like fine wines; you can try to sell them at auctions, but Liam Neeson will find you, and he will kill you.

   Statistically speaking, roughy 118% of all people over-exaggerate.