jitney Funny Status Messages

   I cannot believe Monday got the audacity to be tomorrow..

   Did the kid who was voted most likely to succeed back in high school...succeeded yet?

   Polarized glasses for sale. Not used at all. Need money for Powerball!!

   Dear Summer.....where are you going???Why are you leaving me??? Whyyyyyyyy.... All these back to school pics...and and and...school supplies.....and .....school zone lights are flashing again....

   Dearly beloved God, I wanna take a minute, not to ask for anything from you. But simply to say thank you, for all I have.

   I switch my phone to united airplane mode and now I woke up in a hospital with a headache!

   Dont blame me for you crazy issues! If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!

   If I had a penny everytime that I thought about you, my pants would fall down.

   Abolish the department of education for failing and producing Paul Rand who wants to abolish the department of education.

   I was in the elevator.... I pressed number 1. The elevator said with an attitude: "You're going down." F#¥k you Otis