gb Funny Status Messages

   You know you're a mother when you hide in the bathroom to be alone!

   Its so hot outside right now that I'm getting hot flashes... and I'm a man!

   thinks there should be a Shart Week!

   I just bent down to pet my cat, and it wasn't my cat. It turns out to be a sweater crumbled on the floor. I need better glasses!

   Does the career advice, "Come early on your first day" apply in the porn business?

   I heard Cialis has a new spokesman... Randy Johnson!

   Its says "omg Cholesterol" on my Box of Honey Nut Cheerios... is that bad???

   Perfect day today... I think i'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's calling my name! I just can't stay inside all day! I gotta get out, get me some of those rays!

   Man Ive been sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, have a stuffy head, and a fever... is there any kind of medication that I can take for that and it will help me rest???

   The vet confirmed my dog is now officially lame. I'll start walking her in Ed Hardy gear then