dj_soltrix Funny Status Messages

   Hey, women that wear any lipstick darker than red: No.

   This year, I'm thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.

   Feeling pretty bad right now for the boyfriends whose girlfriends are on their period today. #HappyValentinesDay

   I save money on toilet paper by keeping the 12-foot long receipts I get after every purchase at CVS.

   I thought that the show title 'World's Dumbest' on TruTV was referring to its featured failing comedians.

   Sitting on an active subwoofer is the closest I will ever get to any form of anal sex.