boomtastic Funny Status Messages

   Donald Trump says he's only taking $1.00 a year as President. We could have had Hillary for $.77

   69 is the kamikaze of oral sex .. If I'm going down you're coming with me.

   Four more years?! I'm praying the Mayans were right now, so it'll only be four more weeks!!

   The less you have, the more you value it.

   Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

   Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

   Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.

   Great! My Mayan doctor just said I have less than a year to live ..

   my neighbors put their Christmas decorations up early, so I put my Easter stuff out just to one-up them.

   Interesting piece of history: In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.