bigedusw Funny Status Messages

   There are many benefits of being fat over being skinny. Take Buddha, for instance, he was too heavy to be put on a cross, so they told him to just sit there, quietly.

   Joke of the day: Two old women were sitting in church. One leans over to her friend and said, "My butt is asleep." Her friend replied, "I know, I've heard it snore three times already."

   It is always seems to be "Enter some random family member" week or another. Who the hell makes up this schedule and where is it posted? I'm starting to think this crap is just made up.

   Do you realize that in about 40-50 years, nursing homes will be filled with old ladies with tramp stamps over their butts? I don't want to even think about the piercings.

   Little known fact of the day: The tooth-brush was invented in Eastern Kentucky. My guess is, if it was invented any where else, it would have be called a teeth-brush.

   Some people like to "cuddle," some prefer to "spoon," I rather "spork" ..... think about it, it will come to you.

   I'm thinking about making my own brand of beer and call it, "Responsibly." That way I would get free advertising from all my competitors. "Please drink Responsibly."

   I predict that if, by 21 December 2012, the world doesn't end, there will be a huge baby boom in September 2013.

   Given the choice between Parkinsons and Alzheimers, I would prefer Parkinsons. I would rather spill a little beer rather than forget where I put it.

   Getting older sucks, I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks, but now its more like a bounced check.