Vaterpop Funny Status Messages

   Tony Bennett passed away. I heard he donated his organs.He left his heart to San Francisco!

   Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I'll have a water and my daughter will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids Bloody Mary in a Styrofoam cup with a straw.

   Coworker: Good morning! Me: I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

   I don’t mean to brag, but a lot of people have discovered how the unfollow button on Facebook works because of me.

   I'll bet they're busy at Walmart today. Moving all the Clorox and Lysol to the pharmacy section.

   Running out of ideas for entertainment. Thinking about asking the neighborhood to gather in the street 6' apart and do the Hokey Pokey. After all, that is what it's all about.

   Good news. Jesus has risen. Bad news. He will need to be quarantined for 14 days

   Just think of all the things making big money during this. Netflix!, Disney+, Pornhub.

   I’ve been checking my temperature periodically every day. Did you know that it’s not necessary to do it rectally? Wish someone would’ve told me sooner!

   Worked on our taxes last night. We are getting $867 thousand dollars from federal and we owe the state $966 thousand dollars. Anyone have the number to H&R Block??