Talsier Funny Status Messages

   When the doctor says "drop your pants" I can never resist the urge to say "ooooohhh....Kinkeh!"

   I hate it when elderly women try to trick you. Like when they make chocolate chip cookies, and you take a bite only to notice it's filled with raisins and not chocolate chips! EVIL I tell you ...those cheapskates!

   I always like to keep a "trial size" hand sanitizer with me at all times. Not to keep my hands clean, but in case I have to "fake" sneeze on the back of someones head for being an idot or slow.

   When you send me a message that starts off "I remember how much fun we had!" in your friend request...Please take the profile picture of your grandmother with the new baby down. That scares the hell out of me!

   Girlfriends are like wildcats.....they can't be housebroken and they can smell that stripper perfume from a mile away!

   isn't it funny that when your internet goes down, your computer becomes completely uninteresting anymore? ........and you actually wanna go out and have a life?

   ..sometimes at work, I like to stand behind one of the employees that has no sense of humor and wait till the owner comes by, then I start laughing out loud at their computer monitor as if they were looking at something funny online rather than working..

   found out that they don't like you to wear roller skates in the mall! Or maybe they were mad cuz I didn't have pants on...not sure which one.

   wondering if it's bad when the cops knock on your door, and two others go around back..........and they have a camera crew..

   I've said it before and I'll say it again! Those are not my toys, and I don't know why they're in my bedroom! ;-)