Tallmtnman Funny Status Messages

   So is Tom Brady related to Marcia, Greg & Cindy ?

   I once told my friend I was attacked by a shark. He said, "Did you punch it on the nose?" I said, "No, it just attacked me for no reason."

   The Denver Broncos today announced Al Bundy as their new starting Quarterback.

   Just been to the gym for the 5th time in a week, and people are saying things like "well done!", "that's so impressive!", and "you can't come in here just to use the vending machine

   The sales of sexbots have been skyrocketing. I wonder if they make an underage one? That's gonna be the hot seller among Hollywood and Democrats.

   "Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow" sound terrifying.

   Ok, I've never thought much of Hugh Hefner, but you have to appreciate the irony. The creator of Playboy expires on a Wednesday-Hump Day.

   Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.

   Has anyone else considered the romantic possibilities of nachos and naps?

   Adele: Hello. Lionel Richie : Hello is it me you're looking for? Pink Floyd : Hello. Hello. Is anybody in there? Me: This conference call sucks.