Styles Funny Status Messages

   Happy birthday America, so what are we offended by today?

   I think the cats are hording all the single women out there... Happy Valentines Day everyone

   Does Bruce Jenner qualify as a female driver?

   I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.

   I don't usually brag about my finances, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding

   I can make beer disappear, what is your super power?

   If Obama can break the rules, so can the Patriots dammit.

   Just tried to check my Farmville for the first time in 2 years, apparently I forgot to pay my taxes and the IRS owns it now.

   An atheist, vegan, and a cross fitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within 2 minutes....

   I drove by a house today that had about 15 of those inflatable Christmas lawn decorations. In the daytime it looks like there was a drive by shooting in the North Pole and there were no survivors