Reuben Funny Status Messages

   No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We'll both regret it soon enough.

   Fellas: If most of you lazy b@stards handled your business well between the sheets there would be fewer lesbians in the world.

   WARNING: Life portrayed on Facebook maybe more screwed up than it appears.

   Facebook does NOT ruin relationships. Relationships ruin Facebook.

   HER: "You are like my umbrella" HIM: "Because I protect you?" HER: "No, because you don't get me wet."

   You can't be rocking the same pair of jeans for 3 straight days and claim you got SAWG.

   Some things just never change. You know that kid who used to steal your favourite toy only to break it and throw it away? Now he is the douchebag who steals your girlfriend, use and break her heart then dump her.

   My life has changed for the better ever since I decided to let God take care of my problems and Karma take care of my enemies.

   Everyone is FAKE one way or another. Whether it's their hair, their ascent, their boobs, their Gucci bag, their personality, or their smile.

   I think there is one thing both genders can agree on, neither one want Justin Bieber in their gender.