RandomGirlie Funny Status Messages

   Cruel irony: the owner of Segway died in a Segway accident yesterday. Google it, it happened.

   if "Fe" on the periodic table of the elements is iron, does that make females iron males?

   Ever look at someone and think, "Nice cage, no bird"?

   Glow-in-the-dark condoms: now you see it, now you don't!

   It took me many years to lose my mind. Why the hell would I want a piece of yours?

   wondering why the chick who flipped me off in the parking lot this morning couldn't find a better use for that finger. She could have been so much happier!

   Rental advertising terminology: Cute=OMG, my closet is bigger than this. Charming=houses still had dirt floors when this was built. Close to transportation=right next to the railroad tracks. One month FREE=your neighbors are crackheads.

   thinks she settled the argument over whether you refer to a carbonated beverage as "soda, pop, or Coke"....it's "chaser!"

   asks: Is it wrong to want to be the designated driver just so you can drop obnoxious drunk a$$holes off at random houses that aren't theirs?

   told the boss today that there was no W-F-A-Y I could do the job the way he wanted me to. He said, "But there's no 'F-in-way!!" I said, "Exactly!"