Peppermint Patty Funny Status Messages

   she knows that some people never have to worry about hemorrhoirds, because they are perfect a**holes.

   Wish I could be a Victoria's Secret model... LOL JK I'm baking cupcakes and eating whipped cream straight from the can. WEA DA THICK GURLZ AT?

   Fantastic. I just took the wrong cold and sinus pill. How did I notice, you ask? I nearly banged my head against the desk.

   Women are the most common legal drug...They give you the best highs, the worst lows, and they are so, so addictive...

   Pitbull's videos = 10% music, 90% porn, 0% hair