NHIF Funny Status Messages

   Someone who unplugs your phone at 3% to charge theirs at 97% is capable of killing you.

   I've been telling jokes about distance but I think this time I've gone too far.

   Sometimes in life all you need is a Wi-Fi, an iMac and a cup of coffee.

   Dear Lord, if you can't give me a six pack, at least give this other people a pot-belly...thanks!

   If you search “askew” in google search, the page will tilt slightly clockwise. (Try it now).

   It's pretty scary that before facebook... All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.

   I don't call it "Drinking Coffee" I prefer "Installing Java."

   She removed her jeans threw it to me and said ``Make me feel like a woman``... and I removed my trouser threw it 2 her and said ``wash them both...

   walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.

   It makes me sad to think there are people in this world who have a Kardashian as their favorit celeb.