Kalleygirl Funny Status Messages

   Accidentally went grocery shopping hungry and now I'm the proud owner of isle 6...

   Just got an email saying "want to see Taylor Swift Live"? I thought it was a ransom demand....

   Anal bleaching... Because some a**holes need to lighten up.

   In the event of a nuclear war, the only things that will survive are roaches . Which means US should still have a functioning government

   Look all I'm saying is that if it was not meant to be eaten, it wouldn't be shaped like a taco..

   My vacuum cleaner doesn't suck as much as it used to, it must have gotten married.

   The other day I saw a sign at the hospital that said "Family Planning" use rear entrance and I thought to myself that's great advice...

   The only exercise some people ever get is: running their mouths, jumping to conclusions & pushing their luck.

   Just because it's called make-up... doesn't mean it's supposed to makeup 99% of your face.

   Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I'm possessed by the devil is not funny.