Jayson Funny Status Messages

   Fact: 69% of people will find something dirty in every sentence.

   I’m so confused, I thought the Crip Walk was a marathon for gang members.

   If prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?

   My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I sh*t you knot."

   When I have kids i`m going to make them watch the 2012 movie & tell them, "Yup, I survived that!" ...

   I'm so miserable without you, it's almost as if you were here.

   why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable... Like a coma.

   HOW DOES A PERSON WITH EPILEPSY INTERPRET "CARPE DIEM"?