J.D. Funny Status Messages

   The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history :)

   Sex without head is like a sandwich without bread

   The longest distance in the world is from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.

   Surprise sex is the best way to wake up... unless you're in prison

   I would wish my father a Happy Father's Day on Facebook but I blocked him

   Dear God, Happy Father's Day.

   You lost your phone because it was on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.

   My girlfriend asked me if I see myself having kids...I told her to stop asking me childish questions.

   There's more to Alcohol than life!!!

   Always be sure to keep a good Facebook profile picture.This will be the photo plastered allover the news when something goes horribly wrong.