ImSoFunny Funny Status Messages

   Does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won't share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding... I have no clue whose kid this is.

   You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.

   All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.

   I named my dìck truth, because bìtchès can't handle it.

   You can't be ugly and play hard to get... You're already hard to want.

   Change your wifi password to blowmefirst, then wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.

   Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.

   If your boyfriend can't bench press you then you have a girlfriend.

   Girl you should sell hot dogs, because you know how to make a wiener stand.

   When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his junk and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows new junk. If that isn't the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves I don't know what is.