Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages

   at this point in our culture I'm very surprised there aren't people with nut allergies boycotting the peanuts movie

   According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

   Sorry for chest bumping Chuck E Cheese so hard he fell down and broke his arm, but in my defense the Kidz Bop version of Enter Sandman came on.

   Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.

   Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.

   I have laughed more at the Broncos offense then I have at the commercials.

   The Patriots defensive coverage today is almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.

   How do you get a fat girl to sleep with you? Oh c'mon guys... It's a piece of cake!

   Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Starbucks: 47 pictures.

   Why the hell is a group of Kangaroos NOT called a Kangacrew?