Gg Funny Status Messages

   The Tick Tock clock is ticking.

   Flexibility is essential for mind stability

   "so that's what Kim Kardashian's ass looks like" said no one ever.

   if you get enough maylasian airline frequent flyer miles you can trade them in for a tombstone

   when the movie "cloudy with a chance of meatballs"premiered in China did they call it "raining cats and dogs"?

   do snitches still get stiches under obamacare?

   Just a matter of time till they have an iPhone that recognizes us by our blood alcohol level.

   My wife says I treat her like a child. ha kids these days

   in Ben Affleck's version of Batman. Bruce Wayne's parents kill themselves

   people that say " I hate to break it to you" can't wait to break it to you!